The Single Life Didn’t Choose Me, I Chose The Single Life

In the time when everybody is getting married, it’s a challenge to stay single. In the time when everything is about getting your other ‘half’, being single feels like the end of the world. At least that’s how others see it. It’s a challenge not to break under the pressure.

The ugly side of being single is that you have a hard time fitting anywhere. From my experience, I’ve come to realize that it’s almost impossible to stay friends with married people. 

You just can’t hang around with your married friends because those who are happily married pity you and can’t stop searching for somebody to match you with and when it comes to those unhappily married, well, most probably, they regret their decision and you represent everything they’re not but could’ve been if they were still single.

We can all now be offended by this and list dozen of reasons why married people are no different than others, but it just won’t stand. Whether we care to admit it to ourselves or not, it’s a fact that people change when they enter a marriage. 

They don’t have to change as a person but somehow, the relationship we used to have with them seems odd and awkward and absolutely different—regardless of how much of an effort we put into making it look like everything is fine.PauseUnmuteLoaded: 100.00%Remaining Time -0:26FullscreenX

The truth is—I don’t have a single dating app on my phone. I choose to be single. I have chosen this life day by day for the past few years. I’m not scared to be single. I am fine with it. It’s my decision and I’m owning it. Surprised?

Can’t an intelligent, funny and beautiful woman choose to be single? Why is that such a surprise?

Can I tell you something about being single? Being single is easy and fun. Being single is all about self-improvement, being comfortable on your own. It’s knowing you’re hot without the need to post your picture online to get approval for your beauty from other people.

To me, being single is the need to impress myself. It’s an opportunity to show myself what I am made of and what I can accomplish on my own. Only then, when I make everything work for me like a Swiss watch, I can let somebody else in my life. Only then, I’ll feel good enough to be around somebody else.

Being single is not proving others your worth, it’s about proving it to yourself.

Happy girl with sunglasses walking on the street

I am selfish with my time.

I want to be honest and this is the truth. I chose what to do with my time. I chose what to do with my life. I don’t make compromises and I give myself the right to do whatever I feel like doing.

I don’t need to think about if somebody I’m dating will be ok with it and if somebody I’m in a relationship with will be hurt by my actions. I chose this particular time of my life to find out what I want in life. I have my head high and my standards higher and I will never apologize for it.

It’s just not the right time to commit.

Relationships take time and energy. I’m not ready to give up on either of those two for somebody else. It’s better to keep being single than to enter a relationship and end up being toxic for the other person or making him feel unworthy. I don’t want to leave broken people behind and that’s why I chose to be single.

See also: 7 Obvious Signs You are Not Ready For A Relationship

What people fail to understand is I am not less if I don’t have a man.

Being alone is about being able to be alone and not feel an ounce of loneliness. Instead of judging it, people should reward this. I don’t need somebody else to feel complete.

Let me tell you a secret. I don’t have a fear of dying alone, but I’ll tell you what I am afraid of. I’m afraid of not making my dreams come true. I’m afraid of cutting out all the people who were there for me my whole life for a single person that doesn’t feel like accepting I had a life before him.

I’m afraid of choosing the wrong person to spend the rest of my life with and I’m afraid of ultimatums and having to compromise my wishes for somebody else’s needs. The only person that can promise me forever is me. Therefore, I owe it to myself to make the best I can out of my life.

At the end of the day, tables can turn and I could meet the right person—the one who makes being in love worth more than being single. I’m not running away from commitment, but I’m also not sprinting towards it.

I am not one of those girls who always had somebody to date her. I was the picky one that wanted somebody who’ll challenge her, who’ll make her want to be a better version of herself, and a man who’ll want to be a better man because of her. I didn’t get that yet and it’s fine. That’s why I am challenging myself and doing the best I can to be a better version of myself each and every day.

People need to start realizing that people are no longer single because nobody wants them—people are single because they choose to be single. People are single because they refuse to settle for less.

Excuse me,  I might be single, but I’m too busy slaying the single life.

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