You’ve probably been through hell and back. You’re done—no more dating. It’s not worth your tears. You’ve had some long monologues within your four lonesome walls—struggles which went deep into the night— and you’ve made the decision you’re never going to let anyone hurt you—ever again! You’ve made the decision that you are better than that. You’ve made the decision that you are stronger than that.
You said no to all the insulting words screamed at you…
You said no to all the punches you’ve received…
You said no to being the last one on the list…anybody’s list…
You said no to disrespect.
But although you’ve buried that part of your life forever—although you’ve ‘buried’ him for good—you can’t stop your past from haunting you. It’s nearly impossible to recover from such a mistake that is him—although he’s gone forever. Even now, you wake at night covered in cold sweat because you’ve dreamed about him. You relived the horror that was your life once. Right after you become aware of your reality, after you fully wake up, you realize that he’s gone and that you’re safe. But, it’s the same thing in the morning. His harsh and cold words are coming back to you with a piercing noise drilling inside your head. You’re getting the chills—you’re getting sick.
Not a day passes by without you imagining seeing his face from the distance. It’s a horrible feeling. You start to panic. You start shaking. You’re desperately seeking a way out of running into him. Then you look again—it’s not him. The guy you’ve mistaken him for doesn’t even look like him.
You are seeing him everywhere because you are still afraid he’s going to find you and hurt you once again.
But you should know that every story has a twist—for you, it’s a happy twist. For you, it’s someone who will take you and nurture you into health. For you, it’s someone who will love you unconditionally.
For you, it’s someone who will teach you how to love and how to start trusting again.
- Show you support and challenge you
He will encourage you to speak your mind freely. He will make sure you know that anything you do or want to do is important. He knows his support is the one thing you need the most. You were put down, called names, screamed at so many times that you’ve lost your self-confidence and self-worth. He knows how to bring those things back.
He is aware than he needs to challenge you on all levels—he needs you to realize that you can be even better than you already are. He needs you to understand that you are competent to do anything.
Accept what he’s got to offer because he is the one who will make everything better—he is the one you can trust.
- Respect you
He will respect your opinions and he will never tell you to shut up. He is going to respect you every single day and every minute of every day. He will never tell you he’s going to meet you and then bail on you. He will respect you. Period.
You’ve never experienced this kind of treatment before. Don’t be confused and afraid. It’s not that you are privileged to be treated like this—you are only getting what you should have gotten a long time ago. Give in to this amazing feeling and embrace it—you deserve it.
See also: 8 Things That Happen When You Meet a Good Guy After a Toxic Relationship
Couple holding hands in park
- Always keep his word.
This is the kind of a guy who you can trust. If he says he’s going to do something, he is. Forget about all that mistreatment and false, empty words you’ve been hearing for so long. Forget about always coming last on his list. This guy will never leave you all of a sudden to hang out with his friends as soon as they call.
This guy is reliable and be sure that he loves you and he will never disappoint or hurt you.
- Teach you how to love yourself again
Due to all the horrific things you’ve been through, it’s no wonder that you forgot how to love and respect yourself. You have to know that if you want to let yourself love someone, you have to love yourself first. You have to regain faith in yourself.
This guy will help you grow into the self-loving woman you know you need to be.
- Show you the real side of love
Although your abuser swore on his life that he loves you, you know that’s not true. How can you love someone and make them feel like a worthless nothing at the same time? That is not love. That is neediness. Your abuser needed you in order to take out his insecurities and dissatisfaction on you.
This guy will show you the real side of love. He will introduce you to some new and strange feelings you’ve never experienced before. Actually, they are not strange at all. They are completely normal, just not to you.
Maybe you won’t be able to understand those feelings right away but don’t worry because this new good guy knows that, and he’s going to be patient.
- Going to teach you how to trust again
In time, you’ll learn to trust him. He is going to be very patient with you. You have to remember that his task is not an easy one—having all that love to give to someone who is not ready to receive it, yet. But he’ll wait.
Bit by bit, he will be closer to his goal. Soon enough, you’ll start to open up to him and show him your vulnerable side—you’ll start trusting him because you know now that he won’t ever hurt you.
Don’t lose hope!
One day a good guy will come and he will tear down that wall you’ve built around you.
He’ll show you what real love is—he’ll love you the way you deserve.